Blame, faith and the peculiar perils of positive thinking...
In general, I try not to blame others or the world for things that go wrong. There seems little point; it doesn't achieve much, other than making you feel even more hard done by. I may have already mentioned before that my mother tells me all the time: Shit happens! That for years she has told me to tattoo it on my forehead so I don't forget! Shit does indeed happen; blame is pointless and doesn't always lead to action. And action is the quickest way out of the shit that is happening (or even away from the shit that's hitting the fans, or flowing in the creek you're stuck on without a paddle!)
In the aftermath of the CRPS spreading
not only down to my right leg, but into both legs; I wondered for some
time if I was to blame for this happening. Was it my fault for skating and cycling like a madwoman possessed? Was it my failure that
Pain was beating me again? Could
I have prevented this by taking more care? I should have known better
than to go on the ice. I have CRPS; I knew that another
injury/trauma can cause a spread. I was stupid to ice-skate in the
first place! All this now: my arms, my legs – this is all my fault!
I think that when anyone has an illness or
condition that is out of control, one of the first thoughts we have is: Did I bring this on myself? This implies
that when shit happens, it must be because someone is actually doing
the shitting. However, the shit in this increasingly unpleasant
image, doesn't always necessarily follow from anyone doing this...
metaphorically.
